Year end retrospective

It's that time. The end. Classes are over. Finals are finished. We're going home. Some are graduating, never to return. We never thought it would be over but the time has come. It's an odd feeling as I sit in my own living room writing this. It's home but then again it isn't. Things are so familiar yet so different. A lot has changed since last summer so I'd like to take a little time to step back and look at the year that's been.

My year started early. Two weeks before the rest of the students moved back in to be exact. I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Once I got settled it was time to go to the first day of training. Wasn't quite sure what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised to meet the rest of the guys (and girl). When you think ResNet, you probably think a bunch of stereotypical computer nerds, a bunch of smelly guys with thick glasses that are out of place in sunlight or with other people. Not the case at all. There was a cloud of "geekiness" hanging over the room but as I looked around you definitely wouldn't have known it. It was a bunch of normal people. Ok so there may be an exception here or there but overall everyone was really pretty cool. Great group of people.

Then came the end of training. The band had moved in right before they left for camp... The people reading this probably already know the story so I'm not going to spell anything out. If you don't know I might tell you at some point but you're probably better off not asking.

As classes started I was on quite a high. Everything seemed to be going right with the world and I had a really good feeling about things. That quickly faded as classes started to get going and other personal issues started to take a different turn. Definitely nothing even remotely close to last year but it doesn't always take something big to kill your enthusiasm. It was a very long semester. Don't get me wrong, there were definitely some good times in there and plenty of good people but there was just something else... Can't really put my finger on what it was but I know it was there. By the time Christmas break hit there was a definite slide going in my grades, I definitely did not do nearly as well as I had hoped. But it was completely my fault. Then just after Christmas the unexpected.

I awoke one morning to my mother crying. "Eric, you need to get up and get dressed, Mom-mom (my grandmother) had a heart attack and she's in the hospital." Not a very good way to start the day. We found out later that it hadn't been a heart attack but rather her heart had just stopped. Thankfully she was already at the hospital to get checked up on and there were doctors and nurses there to rush to her aide immediately. They were able to revive her before there had been any brain damage. We were told that had she been anywhere else it would have almost certainly been fatal.

The week or 2 following that will probably be with me for the rest of my life. Everyday was spent at the hospital. First Bloomsburg, then Geisinger. No one was really sure what the problem was. Finally they realized that one of the heart valves that had been replaced only a few years before was blocked. They needed to operate immediately to remove the blockage. They moved her into the Cardio ICU to prepare for the surgery. We were all sitting around waiting to go see her before she went in. When they finally let us into the room she was in good spirits as they started to prep her for surgery. The nurses joked with her and she seemed very comfortable. We all felt optimistic about the surgery. As I stood by her bed it came time to say our good byes before the procedure. I couldn't really talk. I just held her hand. She smiled at me as her hand slowly slipped out of mine. That was the last time I saw her.

We had gone home to get some sleep so we could return again in the morning to see her after she had gotten out of surgery. I had a very tough time sleeping that night. I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep. Then a little while later I heard the phone. I knew before I got downstairs that she was gone but I still held out hope. As I saw my parents huddled in the dining room I relished that the worst was true. The operation was successful but they were unable to restart her heart afterwards.

By all accounts she had been ready to go. It was said that only days before my grandfather, who had died on Easter only months before my little brother was born, had come to her in a dream. You never think of life being quite that poetic, so much like a movie or any other story, but some of this really does happen. It was comforting to know that she didn't have to suffer.

I was unable to be at her funeral. I had to come back to school the day of her viewing and was not even there for that. Sometimes I wonder if I should have been there, but then again, I don't think she would have cared. I think she would have been angry if I had been late in coming back to school for something as "silly" as a funeral, after all , it's not really the person anymore anyway. I said goodbye while she was still with us and that's all that would matter to her.

I'm not ashamed to mention that I'm bawling like a baby as I type. This hit me very hard. It still doesn't seem like it's true. I keep expecting to hear her voice or see her sitting in the living room of her house, but that's all just a memory now.
Not exactly the best start to the second half of the year.

As the semester progressed I seemed to be getting back into the swing of things with my school work and such and things we going along fairly smooth. Occasional bumps along the way but nothing too big. I'm not quite sure why but a couple weeks ago I noticed myself go through a big change. I started hanging out with Matt and Tony more, and of course you can't have Tony without Sarah (you guys are kind of a package deal and you know it ;) ). I also was introduced to Dave and Paul along with various other acquaintances (Nikki, Marilyn, etc, etc, etc). All very cool people. But I really started to notice a change in myself starting the night of "Phat Jam". After the concert Matt called to invite me to an after party that the Pendulums were having. It was a great time! I was singing and dancing, really letting myself go and having a good time. If you have known me for any amount of time you know that I'm not a fan of making a fool of myself. But I didn't care, so yes for the first time I was actually willing to loosen up and do things. Who would have known it would be so much fun? Since then I've been meeting all sorts of really great people and have had a blast. I haven't felt this good in a long time. People have even commented about the change they've noticed in my attitude so I know it isn't just me. For whatever reason I think there must have still been holding me back. All I know is that it's gone now and I'm a better person for it.

I know next year is gonna be a blast and can't wait. Who knows, maybe things will get even better. It could happen. With a wingman at my side or the entire squadron backing me up it could be quite the ride and I plan on enjoying every moment of it.

That being said there are some other very important people that I need to mention, without them I probably would have never survived the year. Ben, Josh, even Dave and Nick, I want to thank you guys for being around. I defiantly benefited from your mentoring and advice, and you certainly helped me stay sane. I'm glad I met you guys and it's disappointing that I didn't meet you sooner. We had a lot of fun as well. It was defiantly nice to have you around. I mean your suite was pretty much my second home. I was sometimes there more often than my own room.

I know this is pretty long. I could go on and on but I think I'm going to wrap it up.

Mainly I want to say a big thank you to all my friends, even those of you that I didn't specifically mention. Without you guys I would not have had nearly as much fun as I did. You are all great people and can't wait to see most of you when we get back in the fall. To the ones how have now graduated and I may not get to see, I wish you all luck and please feel free to stay in touch.

It was one hell of a year. Lots of good, some bad. It started on a high note, dropped down in the middle and then shot back up higher than it had been before at the end. Hopefully the momentum continues into next year.

It's been fun kids.

Eric

Gotta take the good with the not so good

I think we all know that life seems to dish out experiences in 2 scoops, 1 good, 1 not so good. Best course of action is to start with the bad scoop and swallow it down. Get it out of the way and don't think about it (or else you might puke due to the nasty taste). Anyway then you'll be free to enjoy the good.

Enough being philosophical. So the past 2 days have been kinda interesting. Finals are finally out of the way. Those buggers can be deceiving. I really have no idea how I did. I don't think I bombed either of them but then again you never know. Hopefully I'll get my B's and that'll be that. I wouldn't complain. It's kinda weird how jobs work for me. I had no sooner called one guy to tell him that I was gonna take a full time overnight on call position (only pays for 10 hrs a week since it's on call) and I got an email telling me they wanted me for something else. Hopefully I can keep this trend going after I graduate. I've definitely gotten lucky when it comes to that. I'm gonna be working for Bucknell. They aren't gonna pay me all that well but I was at Little League for 4 years and they wouldn't give me any more money either. Next year I think I may have a pretty good shot at one of those well paying Geisinger internships though so that would be nice. But this year I'll be doing the over night on call thing for them monitoring servers via pager and internet and then in the day I'm going to be on a crew installing wireless access points all over campus among other things. It's like my high school job all over again. Not sure if it's what I really wanted to do but it's just more stuff to add to my already long list of work experience in my field. Who knows, maybe it won't be bad. Just have to find out.

So tonight we went to an "interesting" little shop... It was kinda funny, definitely a new experience. Anyway I'm really pushing it. It's almost 3:30 and I need to be up early to finish packing, move out, and run some errands. I'm gonna post that big "year end retrospective" once I get home so you guys will all have that to look forward to. I warn you though, it's gonna be long.

Eric

PS To everyone I don't get to see before I leave I hope you have a safe trip home and a great summer. I hope to talk to you all soon.

Today goes in the "good day" column

The day started off with 5 hours of work. Out of those 5 hours though I was only scheduled for 2. Out of that 2 hours I only worked for about 5 min. (In case simple math confuses you 5hrs - 5 min = 4 hrs 55min of unused work time, aka free time). So that wasn't too bad.

Then I came back and saw my friend Katie online (she spent most of the last year in France). She said she was down in the cathedral so I walked down to say hi. We sat and caught up for a little while and Liz ran into me. So I talked to her for a bit and she told me she was going to remember to unblock me when she got back. More positives.

After saying good bye to them I came back to the room and copied some games. Free games are good. Especially when they would have cost anywhere from $20 to $50 a piece.

Then we decided to go to Quaker Steak and Lube for wings. I went with Matt and Simon and we met some of the Pends (and various others). Good times as usual. Ken is my hero. Somehow we got into a discussion about Zelda and I mentioned that I had been stuck on this one part for a while. From the top of his head he explained to me (complete with napkin diagram) what I needed to do to move on to the next part. I was so excited that I had to come back and try it. Sure enough he was exactly right. Very cool.

All in all I think it was a pretty good day if I do say so myself.

Eric

I'm making this a habit

Even though I have little if anything to post tonight I still feel obligated to do so. I figure that if I don't update just because I don't have anything to say that soon I'll just end up not posting at all. We just can't have that can we. But c'mon, this is me, I can always find SOMETHING to talk about even if it's pure nonsense. So here we go...

Did you even have one of those mornings where you wake up way too early and you're so tired that you just can't fall asleep again so you lay there in a half sleeping stupor thinking about the most random things? I know everyone does it. This morning was one of those times. All sorts of crazy things went through my head as I laid there. I came up with a special rule for four square in case I ever get to serve and can pick my own rules. I would make it so you can catch the ball. I know some of you are probably thinking "that's just dumb". But here's the thing... If you caught it you couldn't just throw it and easily get someone out. If you catch it you can't get someone out when you put the ball back in play, someone else has to touch it first. So it kinda gives you the option to save the ball and keep yourself from getting out but at the same time you can't use it to try and pick someone off. I think it could work. So then as I continued to not sleep I came to a realization. I really AM a "pendugroupie" (I was told it was official). I completely forgot that Katie was a Pend as well. I t was one of those things that all of the sudden just clicked. Things that she said last year in away messages and such that I thought was just here being silly actually had meaning! Go figure. So yeah, apparently I've been friends with Pends the whole time I've been at Pitt. Then later I guess the 4 square thing led me to think about squaring numbers (don't ask me why). I have never thought about the reason why a number to the 2nd power was "squared" and to the 3rd power was "cubed". I had never thought of it geometrically before. I realize that this means absolutely nothing and you're probably just shaking your head saying to yourself "Way to go Eric, you're a friggin' genius...". But I felt as if I had realized some profound truth. How bout you just lay off and let me enjoy my moment will ya?

I didn't have to work today. I was actually pretty surprised. But I certainly wasn't going to complain. It gave me time to take care of some crap that I've been meaning to do. Josh wanted to copy my music and such so I transferred everything to his server along with the files on my external hard drive so I could reformat it. It just needed done so I figured I'd do that while the resources were available to me. I think I'm gonna use the smaller partition to install Tiger onto once I get my copy so I can test to see that all my programs work before taking the leap and upgrading my laptop.

Tomorrow I need to call Mike from Bucknell about some final info for this job they offered me. It isn't really anything special, just carrying a pager a couple hours a week in case the network or servers go down. It's not enough to count as a summer job so I need to keep looking, but at least it'll be a little extra money and it'll look good on my resume.

I think tonight we might try to hit up Quaker Steak for wing night one last time this year. Mendick thought it sounded like a good idea so hopefully people will be up for it.

Wow, sometimes I even surprise myself. All this from what started as nothing to say. Pretty good if I do say so myself.

Time to hit the sack so I can start it all over again tomorrow.

Eric

Get ready for a double shot

Yup, it's my second post today (even though the bottom will say tomorrow). I submitted my last program for C++, it didn't really work but most of the pieces were there at least. Now assuming I pass the final I should never have to take another programming course again!!!!! But then again things have a habit of surprising you. So here's to being done for the moment!

Well I've no got some free time till my finals on Thursday. I moved my work hours all around so I have to work till 3 on Monday and Tuesday and till 2 on Wednesday, then I'm done with ResNet for the semester and can concentrate on my 2 finals. I guess I need to find time to pack in there too.

You know the end is approaching. It seems as if everyone has a countdown, or an away message about their last *insert any word*, or their profile says something about being happy or sad. It's everywhere. So I bet now you're expecting me to start into the big year end retrospective that I warned you was coming. Well....

Gotcha! Don't know why I mentioned that but no big deal. Since I posted earlier I can't come up with a whole lot more to say right now.

Guess it's time for bed.
Night all.

Eric

Pardon the delay

It's been a couple days since I last posted for various reasons. The biggest reason was coming back late and not really feeling like it. Oh well.

Well Friday night was another "penduparty". As usual it was a lot of fun. I told Mendick that I feel as if I'm becoming a "pendugroupie". (Sorry for the "pendu-" words, it just refers to Pitt's co-ed signing group, the Pendulums of which my friend Matt is a member of) Like I mentioned before, it was a good time as always. I have no clue what game we were playing for most of the time. Every time I asked a question about what was going on they said I was breaking a rule, so yeah, Eric had no clue what it was or what the rules were. Like normal there was music/dancing, and yes some collars got popped. Unlike the last time when I sadly knew almost all of the words to the 2 N sync songs they played, I was at a loss this time and didn't know many. I had to apologize to Leah since she didn't remember the words either and I couldn't help her out this time... Yeah, so it was fun. Tony and Sarah left before the rest of us so our group was down to Dave, Paul, Matt, Marilyn and I. We listened to Rick play the guitar for a bit. Then I went out in the other room and got my chat on... Dave and Paul decided we should leave so I had to apologize for running out so abruptly (sigh) and do the proper wingman thing and leave (I guess in this case it was more of a squadron than just a wingman). Anywho...

Yesterday I did a whole lot of nothing for a while. Then we went for coffee in Shadyside. Just sat around chatting. It's always a good time. When we got back the network was down so I called the NOC (Network Operations Center) to report the outage. Apparently it was "scheduled" and therefore no one knew about it. So then we watched "Pirates of Silicon Valley". It had been a while since I saw it. Classic geek flick.

Can't believe I spent over an hour writing this... Guess that's what happens when I get distracted with talking to people.

Squadron leader this is Red...
Requesting permission to return home.
Copy that squadron leader.
Red out.

I'm scraping the barrel today

This is probably the hardest I've had to think yet for a blog entry. Maybe I'm just tired. Don't know. Well, here goes nothing.

Classes are finally over. Kinda... Still have a C++ assignment to finish and 2 finals to take. And of course I found out that I'm going to have to leave right after finals end which really sucks cause I was hoping for some downtime to "chill with the homies" before going back home. But, I guess it doesn't always work out the way you want it to.

Dr. Kabara (the guy who normally teaches IS 1066) gave a talk to us today during the second half of class about grad school, jobs, etc. It was kinda interesting. It made me want to think about grad school. Definitely gonna wait and see on that one though. I definitely wish we had him for class instead of "Stanley". He told us about the 3 B's that we were all looking for "Beer, Bucks ($$$), and ... You all know the third". It was great, not to many teachers will come out and say stuff like that. I also never knew that Pitt has the best telecomm program in the country. Who knew? Kinda cool when you think about it.

I found an Easter egg in the fire extinguisher cabinet on the first floor. It had candy in it. I guess people never bothered to look in our building for the Easter eggs that were randomly placed around campus. Oh well, I felt special.

So we were having some "guy talk" tonight with Dave, Paul, his brother Vince, Tony, Matt, and myself. It was quite... "informative"... Anyway to make a long story short Mat and I realized that we need to find some ladies. I offered to be his wingman. I know, I know, it sounds like an unstoppable dynamic duo right? So maybe not. But who knows, I put the offer out there. Good things come to those who wait right? Well I'm willing to wait my turn so you never know.

If rumors are true and tomorrow night is anything like the last time, the next post might be a good one. So keep checking back. I'm not going to tell anyone to hold their breath cause that would just be silly.

The sandman beckons...
Eric

I cheated on this one...

Like I said, I cheated. I set the time back so it would look like I posted before midnight even though it's now sometime after 2 am. At least I didn't say it was 1/1/1990 and claim to have invented the internet... *cough* mendick *cough*

Before I go any further let me take this time to wish everyone a happy 4/20 (all one of you that read this...).

Went to bed early last night, I figured it would be the smart thing to do since I had 2 finals today. Then I got up early to study. I had just enough time to read through all of my econ notes before taking the exam. Ugh... It wasn't fun. Much harder than the practice final had been and even though they said the test would be very similar it wasn't. So I had to guess... a lot. That's never good, especially since it was the final.

Next I came back and had just enough time to read my geology notes before taking that final. That one went a lot better. I thought it was actually easy. They definitely screwed up the tektite question. It's definitely a piece of the earth's surface that was melted by a meteorite and then hardened into "impact glass". It doesn't go back into orbit although the answer listed would beg to differ. So I asked the TA's. Yup, they agreed it was pretty stupid. I felt special cause I knew something. It's a good feeling, trust me.

I heard somewhere that you're supposed to wear yellow to stimulate your mind or something like that on a test day. I hope it was yellow cause that's what I did. Right now I'm hoping and praying that I got my C in econ so I can just move on, maybe if I'm lucky I did better than that but I'd definitely settle for passing cause I didn't feel so good about that one.

Earlier tonight I had some really good idea for what I was going to post about. But of course I don't remember it anymore so I have to stick with one of those boring old "write about my day" posts. Sorry.

We had a pretty big storm go through this evening. First one I've seen in a while so it was kinda cool.

I got an email today about a job at Bucknell. I'd be working SI Triage. That basically means I get to put a pager next to my bed and if it goes off I have to wake my ass up and start calling people to see what's going on. I'd only be getting like 5 hours a week so I definitely need to keep looking. I can't exactly pay my tuition for the fall with the money I get monitoring servers with a whopping 5 hours a week. Maybe I'll hear from one of their other departments about getting something with them. If nothing else it's one more thing in my field that'll look good on my resume.

Well better think about bed soon since I have classes tomorrow and still have to do most of that big C++ program that keeps getting pushed back. Maybe I can call in a favor and get some code from one of my friends to get me caught up a little and go from there. It's bad because at this point I really don't even care. I need to. I need to finish strong in this class cause I'm doing decently and could really use the B. Just have to see how that goes.

Eric

I'm Mr. Brightside

Ok, so I'm not always Mr. Brightside. I've been so more often as of late, but certainly not all the time. At any rate thank you Mr. Mendick (jackass) for getting that song stuck in my head for the past 2 days. At least I already had it and didn't need to go download it (see, there's the optimism again).

Last night I only got 3 hours of sleep. I went to bed late and layed awake thinking of this and that. (WARNING: I feel a year end retrospective coming on shortly...) Like I said, I did a lot of thinking. Then I had to get up at 7:45 for my wonderful early econ recitation. It was the last one so that's a plus. After class I saw a guy get busted by the port authority police for refusing to vacate a bus stop, the cop flew up the bus lane going the wrong way and parked right in front of a bus to deal with this guy. Then the offending dude started kinda slapping at the cop. Well slapping at a cop gets you a ride in the back of a police car. So remember that kids, don't slap at cops.

Back I went to my room to get a nap since I didn't have anything assigned to me for work. I was so tired I layed here awake for 2 hours... Go figure. Then I went to my next class and had to fight pretty hard to stay awake. Not pretty.

On an unrelated note, I think someone drugged the squirrels up here. I've never seen a squirrel that lethargic before. He was crossing the road as slow as he possibly could. He didn't look hurt so someone's probably been slipping him a little "somethin' somethin' " on the side.

I picked up a permission slip to take Human Info Processing in the fall but here's the thing... I thought I had a Tuesday/Thursday night class and would have to take it as external studies. Well I was wrong. Now I have to go back and get the right slip on Thursday.

We got another extension on our C++ program so that's good since I have 2 finals tomorrow. I think I might be alright on both of them as long as I make sure to look over the econ stuff more tonight. Maybe I should try to go to bed early tonight and get up early to study... I know, doesn't sound very likely but stranger things have happened.

There's more I could say but it's already starting to get kinda long so I'm gonna cut myself off.

Mr. Brightside signing off.

I have a blog and I'm not afraid to use it!

So yeah, the title was a little corny. Think of it this way, now that I've used it you'll never have to read it again (assuming you read it this time).

So it's almost midnight and I have yet to accomplish anything. It seems that the more I have to do the more things I find to distract me. Guess this is probably one of those distractions... Anyway.

I downloaded a new beta of my IM client. The first thing that probably comes to mind is "Why do I care about some program you downloaded?" Well truth be told you don't have to care, but you're reading my blog so you're gonna have to suck it up and deal with it. I'm happy because it does a much better job of handling file transfers so I shouldn't have to switch back and forth between programs anymore just to receive a file from someone. Good stuff.

That last part of this week and the beginning of next week are probably gonna be the best chance I have to enjoy some class free time off. I just found out that I'm going to have to move out on Friday and I work during finals week. I'll have to move some of that crap around so maybe I can get out and do some stuff. If anyone wants to go have some fun or has ideas of how we could do so please let me know. Hopefully this weather holds out. Although it's not like I often take advantage. Take today for example. I woke up, went to class, got lunch, went to class, went to work. That was my whole day. Now it's nighttime and I'm back in my room. Translation: Beautiful day wasted.

I know people have a habit of complaining when things get too long so I guess I'll just bring this to a close, although as I mentioned before, it is my blog so it doesn't really matter if people complain.

Eric

I finally broke down

I didn't break down in an emotional emo sense, I broke down and started a blog. I hear you gasping... (Not really since I know that no one really cares or is all that surprised.) Who knows what to expect from me in here. I don't know what this will become or how often it'll get updated but that's not the point. Here's to trying new things! If anyone recognizes where my title came from you just earned yourself some bonus points. For those of you that don't know it's a line from the song "Poem" by Taproot. It was stuck in my head and sounded like a good title so I ran with it. Not sure how the length works on these so I think I'll end this now to see what I have. I may use it as a model to base my future posts on. We'll see. Anyway if you reading this thanks and hopefully you enjoy from time to time. If not I guess that's just the way it goes.

Eric